Bottom of the Ocean
by cold summer night
Summary: *REVISED 1-3 UP* Some people are like the ocean, they have the ability to deceive as they appear to look beautiful and calm - quietly concealing its depth and current. Will secrets remain as secrets at the bottom of the ocean? ReixAya KazukixAya YuuyaxAya
1. Bottom of the Ocean: Why?

**Disclaimer:**Super Gals is not mine, but I will buy it someday. All the creative rights belong to its rightful owner – Mihona Fuji!

**Author's Note:**Hello there! I decided to continue writing this story, well at least, to finish it! There would be changes; still, I do hope that you will like this! One of the changes on this particular story is that I re-write it to a present tense because I am really inspired with a particular novel. What else? You'll see.

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'_I'm leaving,' the guy tells his manager. The manager asks back saying, 'are you really sure about this? There's no holding back,' she reminds him. The guy just opens the door and walks out without saying a word._

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"_**Bottom of the Ocean: Why?"**_

_2__nd__ of September, year 2005_

_Friday_

_Out of coverage area. How can that be possible? Wherever that place is he in, that there is no signal? For the tenth time, she re-dials his number; still all she can hear is the recorded voice mailbox, telling her to just leave a message after the beep. So, that's it? He won't even let her talk to him? Talking to him is a necessity, more importantly she misses him so bad. If he can't speak with him through a phone call, she is left with only one choice and that is to talk to him personally – face to face._

_She steps out of the cab with a confused look in her innocent brown eyes. A sudden curiosity fills her, the curiosity turns into a slight inward panic. Ambulance, police cars, and a big crowd in front of the townhouse? What's happening? A bugling rumble forms inside her body that her heart stops for a while that she even thought she couldn't breathe. But why? What are these people up to? Is there an accident? A fire, but there is no fire truck nearby. Pulling all the courage she has, she asks one of the people among the crowd by holding onto its arm as if she could regain her strength from it. Hardly breathing, she inquires what's going on. The moment she hears the person's answer, her eyes widen, her phone drops as she hurriedly cross the yellow tapes in an alarmed distraught. Two guys hinder her from doing so, telling her to stay away from the line, but she pushes them off with all her strength. She might look weak, but in times of emergency like this there's a strong lady inside her that people would not be able to think nor believe. She has to see it herself for they might be lying! It can't be! She has to see it herself, it is impossible! It is unthinkable!_

_From the entrance of the townhouse, she sees men carrying a man above a stretcher, covered with white cloth which is filled with blood. A pail of blood lost, perhaps but she is never sure. She approaches them, with a trembling voice she asks who it is. It slows down, as her heart sounds like a beat from the ocean rather than the usual thump, the way the man answers him that one might be mistaken it for an act but that's how it appears on her. Shocked, that is her initial reaction then her knees weaken as if she just gotten old while covering her mouth. Someone calls her name, the person also crosses the yellow tapes, but she couldn't recognize who it is as if it it's the first time she has heard that voice, as if everything around her becomes new to her, like she didn't even know who she is for awhile. All is not real, they are not real – she keeps on whispering through a terrified tone. She tells herself that she is just dreaming. She is convincing herself that – that everything is not true! He possibly couldn't be dead. No. This is nothing but a nightmare and she will wake up soon, right? She will wake up, definitely! In fact, she will close her eyes right now and once she opens them – all will be gone. She will find him standing at the door, giving him his usual cold look and it will be okay for her. Like a woman crazy over finding her lost sons, she shuts her eyes and counts one to ten. One, two, three - when she opens them, her eyes would give her what she wants to see. On the tenth count, she slowly opens her eyes like that of someone who has just given a chance to see for the first time only that when the blindfold is removed she didn't love what she sees. Not only it is unthinkable, but it is crucial for her! What is crucial all the more for people on the other hand is the scene that they are seeing in front of them, the lady on her knees, sometimes banging her head on the road and punching life for the miserable tragedy. It is only then that the person who also crossed the yellow tapes earlier stops her, consoling and giving her all the comfort that she needs._

_In a flash, he was gone. Just like the whiff of a perfume, he faded away. The last time she saw him, the last time she talked to him was when they broke up. How can he leave them just like that? She could bear all the heartaches he caused, but his death? Never! This is too much._

_**26**__**th**__** of August, year 2005**_

_**Friday**_

"_**Why do you like me?" Were those eyes once dark? I've always thought that they were just cold but not dark as they look at this second. His tired gaze looks at me, in away he has never looked at me before. I thought I let out a sigh, I figure it came from him which makes me think of the right answer to his question.**_

_**Why do I like him? What is with the question all of a sudden? I keep my silence, trying to think of an answer. He is kind, cool, and perfect, but those are not enough reasons to like someone. Honestly, I like all his sides – the good and the bad. So, I answer "I like everything about you-"**_

"_**My popularity? Money?" I wonder why he stresses the word money. "Because I'm a handsome man?" Handsome? No, not just because of that! "You're just like other girls." Like other girls? Why am I being compared to other girls? What is up with him? Awhile ago we were just having our usual talk, it may not be a couple-like talk but at least we were good, but now? "You're after those things. We're done."**_

_**Done? What? So, that's it? What about what happened between us last night? It is over as well? It might be done for him, but not to me. I have given him all of me, how can he be cold? I watch him walk away, leaving me behind and alone. I want to run after him but in a matter of seconds I can't find him anymore. Why did he leave me?**_

_Unanswered questions left hanging, like why did he leave her? Why did he choose to die? Why did he take his life? Was it really a burden for him to live with her? Was it really not worth living anymore? Then, why? Why?_

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**Author's Note:** Till then!


	2. Bottom of the Ocean: How?

**Disclaimer:**All the creative rights belong to Mihona Fuji.

**Author's Note:**I don't know if you like the changes I made, tell me – what do you think about the first chapter?

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"_**Bottom of the Ocean: How?"**_

_He was cremated and according to his will and testament, he wanted for his ashes to be spread out in the open sea. At his last service ceremony, when it is her turn to speak for her last words for the ascended loved one, she walks up to the stage and plays the piano. _

_When she finishes her composition, they all clap and make a standing ovation. Her friends went close to her to give her a comforting embrace. A famous celebrity approaches her and remarks that her composition is great, he asks her permission to have her song on his album and to sing the song but she refuses his offer._

_She forces a smile and walks with her friends. They head to the cliff; her ex-boyfriend's manager gives her the porcelain jar and signals that it is time. She opens the jar with a liter of tears flowing; she grits her teeth trying not to break down, trying so hard not to die next. Her soft hands touched his ashes; she thought of keeping them all but since he wanted his ashes to stay in the sea she spreads them there. Her tears, as they flow it is blinding her vision. She carries the jar with her. After that, she tells her friends that she would be migrating to Paris with her parents maybe after a couple of weeks or more when they're ready. Though shocked, they knew why, no questions asked. Just like that, she walks away from them. She doesn't know if she will be back since there's no sense to stay there. The reason why she's still there is for him. After this day, now that he's gone, she'll be with her parents to live a new life. _

_Hopping inside the car, she waves her hand to bid her last good bye to her friends. She glances at the jar she is holding and took a vial out of her pocket. She opens the jar, transferring all the ashes that were left. Sorry, she didn't spread all the ashes for she wanted to keep some for her. Now holding the vial near her heart, she weeps. How can one step into one's life only to be stepping out too soon? It might have been better if he didn't walk into her life at all, if he would just leave her. It feels like, he cheated on her. No, it is worst than cheating! Didn't he know that by dying he has killed her as well? How can she live without him? Tell her, how?_

_**My grades will fail, what must I do? I heard the old man play a love song, it's just not right at this moment. If I maybe with someone I like, it would be inspiring! But right now? No, it doesn't fit at all. Sighing, I look down on my shoes. How I wanted to remove them for my feet felt tired. It is inappropriate to do that so I just look around me, unbelievably my eyes found a very familiar figure walking from afar. The place is big; there are empty seats on the benches so I am shocked when the first-placer walks near and sits beside me!**_

_**A height that towers over a lady, chocolate brown hair that goes with the wind, cold eyes that expresses nothing but coolness, relaxing ice scent and yet he is making me warm. How can he be so perfect? How can he be so amazing? How? His brows arch as he places his hands on the rail. Did I just ask 'how' to him? I thought I asked that to myself. I pretended that I didn't say anything. When our eyes met he asks the question.**_

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**Author's Note:** I really hope that you somehow liked the changes I've made on this story. If you did, tell me! What do you think about chapters one and two?


	3. Bottom of the Ocean: Where?

**Disclaimer: **All the creative rights belong to Mihona Fuji.

**Author's Note: **First, why then how – now, where? What's next? LOL!

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"_**Bottom of the Ocean: Where?"**_

_It will always be around every year, like any other months, it will come and pass but the next Septembers to come – it will never be the same again. The sky might be there, the clouds might forbid the sun, the rain may fall and who knows the world might even end. Only one thing is certain, he will never see that day, and therefore she will never see him again._

_In one of the days of his wake, she found out that Rei's manager is also his mother's best friend, the only person who took him in when his mother died of conceiving him. Remembering the day when she cries over the room while hearing the on-going process of cremation she could not help but imagine that she too was being burned and crushed. Kazuki, all the while embracing her and ignoring the shedding tears that made his shirt wet, whispers that she is not alone and never will be for he will always be there for her no matter when or where she needs him. What she remembers most then was the stare of her ex-boyfriend's best friend, Yuuya. From where she stood, she found him standing for not more than four meters, his eyes locked on her without any expression. It was an unfathomable gaze._

_It's already October, the driver opens the car door for her, only she can look at the door then her feet, finding them heavy to make a single step out. Hopping out no matter how heavy she feels, she glances at her parents who were already waiting for her at the side of the car with their luggage. Is that how it should be? Should she really leave things like that? Leave him, his memories and their one intimate moment together? To her, she still can't get over the idea of him dead. Her mind and heart are in the process of taking it in, and until now it is still on delay._

_How can one be so alive one day and be dead the following week? How can one be dead without even giving or sending out signals that he would be dead soon? How can one kill himself and yet made requests like it matters to him more than his own life? If he would kill himself, then why didn't he even say good bye to her or just to one of their friends, their close friends or to his best friend? It doesn't make any sense at all!_

_A soft voice calls her name; it came from her mother who is holding her hand. She motions for them to enter the airport, but she hesitates. If she stays, that will just mean going backwards but if she heads away that mean moving forward._

_29th of August, year 2012_

_How many nights did she wish that he is beside her? How many nights did she pray that it is him whom she will spend her old days with? It is not difficult to love someone else, especially when that person loves you so much but to her how can it appear to be like that? It is too tough for her, not to think of how her life would be if only he was still alive. It is too tough for her, to see someone loves her so dear but she can't return the love._

'_Where are you going?'_

'_Tokyo-' she says as if she will just head out to time square._

'_Tokyo? W-wait-' her ex-husband sits up from the bed. 'You know where you are, don't you?'_

'_Yes, I believe I do-' she nods her head while gathering all her stuff._

'_First, the divorce and now this? We're already separated by papers and now you want to be really separated from me physically? Out of my sight-'_

'_I just want freedom and I don't feel it here-' she continues to pack her things up._

'_I believe I have given you enough freedom-'_

'_Yes,' she nods then looks at him. 'That's why I feel so guilty, you don't deserve me' she pauses 'you can find someone else-'_

'_Is it still because of him?'_

_The 'him' stops her heart from beating, she looks away now with tears. 'I-'_

'_Are you going to take him with you?'_

_She knows who he is talking about. 'Yes, of course-'_

'_Do your parents know about this?'_

'_No-' she confesses. 'They don't. I must go-'_

'_No,' he shakes his head. 'You must not go-'_

'_You have been a great friend to me-'_

'_Is that all I can be?' _

'_I'm so sorry-' she covers her mouth to control her sob._

'_Please,' he walks near her, holds her hands then embraces her. 'Don't leave me-'_

'_I'm sorry, I tried so hard to love you but I can't-' she frees herself then walks over to the next room. When she opens the door, the boy is quietly sleeping under the blanket. She steps her foot, until she is only inches away._

_The boy wakes up, 'mommy?' He rubs his eyes, sits up and looks at her then at his father with a puzzled look 'Daddy?'_

'_Let's go-' she reaches for her son's arms then embrace him._

'_Go where?' The boy asks then looks by the window. 'Is it morning already?'_

_She nods to the boy. 'Come on-' after packing the boy's things the two walks down the stairs to the front door._

_The boy stops, then looks at his father. 'Aren't you going with us?'_

'_No, he'll stay here-' she answers for him. Something is telling her that she must go, holding the small vial which serves as a pendant to her necklace, she stands on her ground. 'Bye, Kazuki.' She steps away with her son as if she has just made the best decision in her life._

_First, she doesn't believe that he is dead. Second, if he is really dead then there might be something left for her to know. Third, it can't be that he committed suicide for Rei would never do such a thing! _

'_Where will you stay then?' Her ex-husband asks with visible concern in his tone._

_Where? Where will they stay? It sounded as if she doesn't belong anywhere anymore. At her parents' house in Tokyo?_

'_We'll stay in Tokyo…'_

_Her ex-husband moves closer 'where exactly in Tokyo?'_

'_I-I don't know yet, but I want to stay there-there-right there where we met.' _

'_Where you met him?'_

_Even though she can't see his face, she could hear his voice which is enough to reveal his feelings. 'Yes-' as if she remembers something, she raises her hand to remove the ring and gives it to back to him._

_He nods his head. 'If this is how you want things to be,' he moves close to whisper something. 'Listen, I know what you're up to but I must tell you this-' he pauses 'I know how broken you are, don't push yourself or you may never ever have the chance to be complete. I won't stop you, it's just a reminder. Life is harder than it seems, it has secrets…mysteries…untold…and kept that way. If you choose to unravel them, it's up to you-'_

_1st of September, year 2012_

_Tokyo-Narita International Airport_

_Saturday_

_When the driver asks her where they were off to, she didn't know what to say. She didn't have a pile of memories with him, only a night of sin, to rethink but it is not important. What is more important now is the fact that she will stay and find the answers to all her questions – on the right place, where she met him. They met in Tokyo, so there she will stay but Kazuki was right – where in Tokyo? The driver keeps on glancing at the rearview mirror; he must be waiting where he would drop them off. Trying to imagine a picture of the whole Tokyo, she comes up with a couple of options as to where to stay._

'_Miss? Where-'_

_Reaching for her phone, she speaks of the place where she is headed first, her ex-boyfriend's agency. The car stops at the said place, before she comes out she asks the driver to wait for them. Breathing in, she read the agency's ad-boards but didn't find an image of her ex-boyfriend. No, not anymore. All of his pictures, they used to post them outside on the billboards, print-ads and the like. Now, it is as if he never existed. With soft steps, she ascends the stairs with her son still looking at the building, not giving up and hoping to find a single picture of him. _

_When they enter the building, no one recognizes her. Thank God, she utters silently. Walking over the front desk, she inquires about her ex-boyfriend's best friend, Yuuya. She places her phone under her pocket._

'_I'm sorry Miss,' the receptionist says 'but he is no longer here.'_

'_No longer here?'_

'_Yes-'_

'_Since when? Where is he?'_

'_No one actually knows-'_

_She nods her head. 'Do you happen to know where-'_

_The receptionist shakes her head, then follows up that she doesn't know where he is nor his whereabouts then suggests her to speak with Yuuya's former assistant. He has an assistant? She doesn't know about that._

'_Who is his assistant?'_

'_I'm not sure if she is still working for him, but at least if you will be able to talk with her perhaps she knows something-'_

_She nods then bit her lower lip. 'Okay, so who is-um who was her former assistant?'_

'_Miss Mami Honda-'_

_Mami Honda? Wait. Since when? 'She used to be his assistant?'_

'_Yes-' again the receptionist nods her head this time with a smile. 'Oh, well. They're both lucky, don't you think?' The receptionist speaks in a very low voice, as if she meant to only speak with a small creature. 'Asou-san and Honda-san? They're a lovely couple-'_

'_Since when?'_

'_What do you mean?'_

'_How long has she been working for Yuuya?'_

'_Let me think,' the receptionist looks at the building's ceiling then back at her. 'I'm not so sure, I don't know more about them you know but-'_

'_I see-'_

'_Well, Miss Aya-' she glances at the workers in the building before looking back at her as if to make sure that no one is listening on their talk. 'If you want to know about them' the receptionist again looks around then takes a piece of paper from the drawer, she grabs the pen as if she is running out of time. She writes something on the piece of paper before handing it to her. 'I know someone who does, she knows a lot about them for she has been working at this agency for so long-'_

_Has been working at the agency for so long? Could it be Rei's manager and his mother's best friend? 'Do you mean to say Miss Emerald-'_

_The receptionist looks down before answering. 'No, she died three years ago-'_

_Died? 'Why? I mean how?'_

'_Without a doubt, it was suicide. Actually, I remember it so well because I was new here then and she was very kind to me. A week after I came here, she took her life or that's what they say and it remains a mystery to me. I believe, it happened on the fourth of September, year two thousand and nine. She was so kind, although a week before she committed suicide? She looks troubled. I don't know but I can feel that something was bothering her-um I remember she walked over me and said one thing.' The receptionist looks at her, 'she spoke of love and its consequences.'_

'_I see-' the two stare at each other, she looks at the paper then back at the receptionist. 'Thank you-' she hides the paper on her other pocket._

'_Wait, whatever is it that you need from him?'_

'_Him?'_

_The receptionist nods 'yeah. Asou-san?'_

'_Oh,' she smiles. 'I'm a friend of him, I just want to see him-'_

'_Is that your little brother?'_

_Brother? She looks at her son. 'No, he is my son-'_

'_Son?' The receptionist looks over the boy. 'He looks so handsome. You don't look like him though,' she pauses 'but don't be offended you look beautiful. Maybe he looks like his father-'_

_She nods then sighs. 'He does, he looks exactly like him-' she turns, holding her son's hand then slowly makes their way out. Before the door can even open, she sees it, she sees a very bright light, no it is like a fire then an explosion not far from their cab. The heat from the explosion can even be felt from where they were standing so she carries her son away from the door. Good thing they weren't inside the cab, if so they might even be wounded or worse dead. It is a terrible event. When the people were allowed to step outside the building, she sees them again. Ambulance, police cars, crowd, and yellow tapes._

_Her son tightens his embrace on her 'mommy, I'm scared. Can we just go back to daddy? I'm afraid of this place-'_

_Only she can sniff and cry, is it a mistake for her to go back there?_

_2nd of September, year 2012_

_Saturday_

_The lamp lights if not gloomy might be old, she thinks. Seven years ago, she recalls, she was there at the exact place only that there were many people that moment and now there isn't a single one as if the area has long been abandoned._

_**There are four townhouses; my ex-boyfriend's townhouse is the fourth one. Unlike the other three townhouses, its lights weren't open. On the third townhouse, there is a signboard that says 'for rent.' Looking back at the fourth, I narrow my eyes as if by doing so I could clearly see the door, hoping that there is a signboard as well. Anyway, who would occupy a place with a history of suicide? The hairs on my skin stand, as if the weather has suddenly becomes cold. It is not that I am scared; I'm never scared of ghosts besides I don't believe that he would end up as a ghost. When people die, it's either he would be in hell or heaven after judgment day. Moreover, I don't see him in my dreams, nor feel his presence floating up in the sky – no one is telling me deep inside that he is really dead as if he isn't. Am I just convincing myself? Am I being crazy?**_

_**An old woman walks close to me inquiring if she can help or somehow attend to my needs after introducing herself as the owner of the townhouses. "I'm moving in," I say, the woman smiles.**_

"_**In which one? The first one is occupied, the second is vacant as well as the third and the last which is in front of us is-"**_

_**I nod my head. "I'm moving right here-" my son holds my hand. "We're moving right here-"**_

_**The woman is obviously surprised knowing of the horrific background of the house, she coughs "in which?"**_

"_**In here, right there-" I didn't blink while staring at the townhouse which my ex-boyfriend used to live.**_

_**Again, the woman coughs then clears her throat. "W-where?"**_

_**Where? I just look at the woman who seems to be really surprised.**_

"_**I mean, are you sure about this? You see, no one wanted to occupy that ever since it happened years ago do you happen to know about that? Even my caretaker moved away so I have no choice but to run this business on my own-"**_

_**It is the suicide incident, I believe. "Yes, I know what happened."**_

"_**Then why? Why do you still want to occupy this townhouse?"**_

"_**I think that if I stay here, I'll be able to at least figure out the whys in my head and in my heart. I feel that if I stay here all will be answered-"**_

"_**Are you a researcher or what?"**_

_**What? Researcher? Does that mean that the woman doesn't recognize who I am? How come when it was all in the news? "I maybe am," I blink my eyes. "Y-yeah I'm a researcher-" I nod my head.**_

"_**You know, I kind of wonder too about people who take away their life when other people would fight for it at any cost."**_

_**That's it! 'You are right. That is why I'm here, I need to find that out. It doesn't fit," what I meant is the reality that my ex-boyfriend would kill himself when I know that there is no reason for him to do so. What could be his problem? Why would he do that? There is no reason enough to end one's life! I didn't notice when the woman walks away, maybe I am drowned in my thoughts. She gets back with keys in her hands; the woman holds my arm, while my son tightens his grip as we walk to the front door. My heart thumps, the door screeches and when the lights were switched on I realize that the house is furnished as if the owner is still hoping that it will be occupied after all.**_

_**The walls which used to be white were tampered with wallpaper, the lights were bright yellow for some reason I feel so bare, the lounge looked so inviting as if I wanted to sit and relax on the silvery pillows on top of it while on its left side is the telephone table, there is also a glass table with an expensive cloth under the silver décor placed in an ascending manner. The place has been changed drastically, that I can't even see a trace of that night.**_

_She walks back at the townhouse; her son is watching a kid's program. When she closes the door from behind, he glances at her. They smile at each other; she sits beside him and puts his head on her lap._

'_Mom?'_

'_Hn?'_

'_Will dad be here?'_

_Dad? She nods her head. 'I think so, I think so-' then the boy sleeps after a few minutes. Someone knocks on their door, it might be the owner. She is right when she opens the door, she finds the owner standing with a notebook on her hands._

'_I'll be gone tomorrow, every Sunday we have a family gathering. So, that means you'll be left here on your own. It's hard to get a cab from here so, here's the list of which you can call on a cab, rent a car or find someone who can drive you, you can call them if you need anything. I believe you said something about hiring a baby-sitter-'_

'_Yeah-' she nods._

'_I have a list here, everything is right here even food deliveries, emergency numbers-'_

'_Oh, thank you so much' she accepts the notebook when the woman hands it to her. 'You know, I think I've seen you somewhere-'_

'_Really?'_

'_I don't know. I may be wrong since my vision is a bit blurry now but I think I've seen you – yeah. Anyway, good night. Is he already asleep?' The woman looks at her son who is sleeping on the lounge._

'_Yes-' she smiles._

'_Will his father be here as well?'_

_What? She roams her eyes on the whole house. 'I think so, I mean yes he will be here-'_

'_That's great! Where is he now? If you don't mind me asking,' the woman carefully makes a step away from the door while waiting for her answer._

_Where? 'He is everywhere.'_

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**Author's Note: **I'd like to hear from you – tell me, what do you think of the story? *waits*


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